


Sex, Drugs & Education

by basednoiz



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood, Blow Job, Cheating, Crush at First Sight, Cutting, M/M, Pill popping, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self Harm, first encounters, mild blood licking very mild, sad thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 03:59:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1211875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basednoiz/pseuds/basednoiz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aoba's in a game of cat and mouse between a blade and his life, he's losing. He finds this rather tragic and poetic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: I changed the title from it's nothing but a fleeting illness to the one listed above, yeah I know... I like this one better though.
> 
> Okay okay most of the characters don't show up in this chapter. Oh also it'll be a fun ride. 
> 
> Rating will probably change and more warnings might apply but for now you're safe from any heart wrenching things. 
> 
> I don't know I feel like I should say "trigger warning" or something????

Chapter 1: A boy without a cause. 

 

The static on the radio slaughtered the silence as he sat on a bed trying to stitch up more wounds with a dull needle and dirtied thread. The infection he caught would devour any feeling he thought he had. In the end he was nothing more than a shell of despair and the waste of once an incredible boy.  
No one could tell who he was anymore. The expression he had glued onto his face was that of grotesque boredom. His face was a mask for the broken, desperate boy underneath. He felt no love, no desire just a feeling that left his knees weak and his body heavy. This wasn't his place, but he still believed that there was some place for him. He'd sit and count all the times he'd been left for someone better suited for the other's tastes, he'd need more hands. He couldn't grasp the fact that his life was spiraling into a black abyss. Personally, he'd like to believe that this was just a dream and he'd wake up at any moment. He'll drown in his delusion. 

He's in a game of cat and mouse between a blade and his life, he's losing. He finds this rather tragic and poetic. 

\--- 

Being so apprehensive was Aoba's downfall. He sat behind the bleachers with a cigarette, shivering from the cold. It's not the first time he's skipped out of class due to anxiety, it's a common occurrence. He was 19 and a second year, this fact was pointed out on a regular basis. He didn't fail or anything, it was his constant hospital stays in his early teen years. Everyone else thought he was just a dumbass. Their words were like knives. He felt ridiculous to be hurt by meaningless words. Then again, Aoba felt comically flattered that they took time out of their teenaged lives to pick on him. He was important in an odd way. It intrigued him that he could be at the center of attention, even though that attention was always negative. 

The winter air stung Aoba's cheeks as he took a puff of the cigarette. He didn't think he would ever end up here, a worn out cliche that was wrecked beyond repair. He chuckled. What a thought. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

He sat slumped over a desk in the back of History class. He wasn't paying attention, instead thinking about what Tae was going to make for dinner. It was a much more pleasing thought. He tapped his pen to distract himself from the colliding chaos echoing in his skull. 

He went over a list of ways to get out of the class. All of them are poor excuses, which is nothing more than expected from high school students. 

He sighed and raised his hand, anything to get out of class. 

"Uh yeah," the teacher looked at him. 

"Can I go to the washroom?"

"Why?"

"I need to piss," 

Why else?

"Can't it wait?"

"Not that I know of," Aoba stood up. 

"Fine,"

\--------------------------------------------------------

The boys washroom was always, ALWAYS covered in wads of dried up toilet paper. Why did vandalism amuse teenaged boys so much? He adjusted the tie on his uniform and glance half -heartily at his reflection. 

When he was small, he would think about his reflection and how his other self's life would be like. Maybe it was this that led to his undoing. He hopped up onto the counter, he froze. His ass ended up in a puddle of lukewarm water. 

"Shit,"

Aoba grabbed some paper towel to dry his backside. 

"Get cum on you or something?" 

Fire hit Aoba's cheeks, what else could go wrong? 

He turned to see the source of the voice. His gaze was met by a bloodied and bruised face owned by a boy in a dirty, tattered uniform. 

"Shouldn't you go to the nurse?"

"Fuck that!"

The boy walked up to the sink and began to clean himself up. 

"Here let me," Aoba's big brother instincts set in. 

"I can do it myself,"

It was too late to argue, Aoba was already wiping the drying blood off the blond's face with a damp paper towel. 

The boy stubbornly obeyed, cautiously watching Aoba. 

He smelt of weed and fruit punch, what an odd combination. Aoba scrunched his nose. 

"What?" He raised an eyebrow at Aoba. 

He paused, what is a nice way to put this? "you reek of weed."

"Does that bother you?"

"The smell makes my head hurt,"

"That's adorable,"

Aoba lowered his head to hide his flushing cheeks. This guy just says whatever comes to mind doesn't he? He didn't like that. 

He continued to clean the boy's face. He has a lot of piercings for someone so young. He felt like this boy could kick his ass with just a glance. Perfect, just what he needed. Anxiety poked at his nerves. He could tell by the gentle expression the boy wore that he was not in harm, so why does he feel like his stomach is going to come out his ass?

His stomach churned as he came to the realization. It was a small attraction. Awesome. Just what his stability needed, a crush. 

"What did you do to get the shit kicked out of you?"

"Excuse me, you should see the other guy,"

Aoba snickered, the blond was trying to impress him. 

"Well he was talking shit so naturally I punched him," he smirked. 

"Is that so?" Aoba muttered. 

Definitely not his type. 

"What is your name anyways?" He asked. 

"Aoba,"

"A..oba?"

"Yes,"

"I'm Noiz,"

Great, he's getting a crush on a punk named Noiz, not his type. 

He threw the bloodied towel in the trash, "good as new, for the most part..."

He ran his finger tips across the bruised cheek. His hand was shaky with excessive amounts of nerves trying to tear away from him. It left him feeling like jumping out of his skin. 

The blond boy leaned in and pecked him on the forehead, "thank you, Aoba."

Fuck. 

"I hope to see you again," Noiz smiled before leaving him alone with his feelings. 

The room began to spin as a giant weight crushed his chest. His breathing grew heavy and uneven as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He didn't need this. He didn't need these feelings mixing in with the others. He was confused and disoriented. Aoba slid down the wall landing with a heavy thump on the floor. He didn't want this. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Tae was making beef stew. Nothing in the world beats her cooking! Aoba stared at her with a grin spread from ear to ear. 

"It's nice to see you smiling," she turned from the pot on the stove. 

"I'm just happy to be home, Granny,"

"Rough day?"

"Not with the people, just with feelings," 

He smiled into the back of his hand, feeling slightly light headed. Nothing was going to tear him down now. Even with a heavy dose of medication the mania still took over; he was unsure if this was alarming. 

He felt like he was on a potent mixture of cocaine and energy drinks. He knew what this mixture felt like from past experiences. Reminiscing is enough to kill him. He felt like a war zone disguised by a meadow of spring flowers. He laughed, why is he always so poetic? 

\--------------------------------------------------------

After dinner he went upstairs to get his energy out, whether it be sorting through his things, cleaning, dancing, or rearranging his room. He didn't care just as long as it was something. 

"Hello Aoba-san!" A small, fluffy dog met him on the bed. 

"Hello Ren,"

He laid on the bed with Ren on his chest. He felt content just laying there. Throughout his entire life he expected that by now he'd be sharing a moment like this with a partner, but he guesses that this is just as nice. 

It was almost hypnotizing. He felt so calm and relaxed that he thought that he was going to hit with a life altering epiphany. This didn't happen, instead he let his mind drift away, making his sense of self and reality disappear. 

**************************************

His tank top and shorts combination made him feel overly exposed, like his clothes were the things making people oblivious to him. His attire made him look like a girl. This was pointed at least 50 times every gym glass. It didn't help that he was poor at sports. 

A bruised knee and scrapped elbow accompanied him to the change room. He waited until the small, crammed room was empty before he began to change. 

The silence tore at his skin. 

Arms wrapped around him, "are you ready, Aoba-san?"

Shit. 

"You enjoyed it last time didn't you?"

Aoba jabbed his elbow into the strangers rib cage. 

He was immediately released, "You never learn,"

He glanced over his shoulder. No... not this again, at least the boy we was alone this time. 

If he had any dignity left he would fight, but his weak frame was no match. Honestly, he didn't hate it last time. The confession made his stomach twist and squirm. His knees shook under his now heavy frame. 

He couldn't swallow the lump forming in his throat. 

Needy hands began threading through his sensitive hair. A shaky moan escaped Aoba's lips. Fuck. He wanted to disappear. 

He was pushed against the cold, white wall as the boy grinded against him. 

"I want you to suck me off, Aoba-san,"

"N-no!"

"Come on baby,"

"Fuck off!" He managed to free himself enough to take a swing at the boy. He hit his target. 

His luck was short handed as the boy's hand collided with his nose, which crunched under the impact. His head hit the wall; his vision was speckled with white dots. A throbbing headache emerged from deep within as the room swayed back and forth. 

"I don't want to play games," 

Tears stained his blood soaked face, as the tall boy stood against him again, prompting him to go on his knees. 

Aoba gave in. 

Defeat left Aoba knocking on death's door. It didn't seem that anything would go right. 

The boy rubbed his crotch against Aoba's face. The whole process was messy and uncalculated as if he was acting out of want instead of malice. 

Maybe the boy did want him. Aoba sadly felt flattered. 

"Are you ready, Aoba-san?" The boy pulled his erection from his pants. 

He turned his head away from the sight.  
"How about you put these on, they're pretty," he reached for the pink headphones peeking out of Aoba's bag. 

After the headphones had been placed on his head, the boy turned on the mp3.  
Aoba felt the boy's cock push against his mouth. He kept his jaw clenched shut, he wasn't ready to fully give himself to the boy. 

A pair of fingers pinched Aoba's nose closed. Shit!

The boy's hard on kept demanding entry into Aoba's mouth. His lungs were already begging for air. He suddenly regrets smoking all those cigarettes. 

The boy's thrusts became eager; he felt almost sympathetic. He shyly let his mouth fall open. He was greeted with an odd tasted. 

Fingers entwined in his hair once again, as his tongue ran along the under side of the boy's shaft. He could hear the boy moaning and whining over the music. He didn't know he could have this affect on someone. 

The boy's cock hit the back of Aoba's throat, and he coughed and gagged. Each breath became a struggle, he was afraid he was going to choke to death. He lived a pathetic life, he didn't want to die by having a dick shoved down his throat. 

"I'm going to cum!" He heard the boy yelled over his music. 

No! Not in me! Aoba began to squirm. As the boy gave his final thrusts, Aoba's mouth was filled with a foul taste. Before he could spit out the slimy substance, a hand clasped around his lips. 

The headphones were torn from his head, "swallow."

Tears gathered in his eyes. He already felt disgusting. 

"Swallow," 

He choked and gagged as he let out subtle cries. There was no way to get out of this, he had to. 

"Good boy," the boy ran his fingers through his hair once again. 

The pressure on his mouth was released, a soft kiss settled on his lips. 

"You were so good, I can't wait til I don't have to hurt you to get you to obey,"

Aoba's eyes fluttered closed. He was still dazed from his head injury. He wanted to die. 

"Can't wait til next time," the words tore through Aoba like the claws of a monster. 

Silence hit him until he couldn't breathe. The was a nightmare. He was going to wake up, wasn't he? He was going to wake up, and everything would be okay. His heaving chest was fighting for air, even though the thought of breathing made Aoba sick. Uneven sobs filled his ears, he felt pathetic when he realized the sounds were coming from him. 

All he could do now was pick up the pieces of his shattered spirit. 

\---------------------------------------------------------

Aoba was destroyed by a raging emptiness; he was incomplete. Every jagged piece of what remained of him sliced into his writhing heart. 

A folded piece of lined paper laid ajared on his Biology textbook. Fear and confusion clouded Aoba's head. Why would he get a note? He cautiously unfolded the piece of paper. 

AOBA!!!!! Meet me behind the bleachers at 1:00 pm - Noiz ;) 

A slight blush fluttered across his cheeks. Cute. 

The last time he checked it was 1:10. He paused, would he still be there? 

He put his belongings in the locker and grabbed his uniform jacket. Better to be fashionably late, he smirked. 

\--------------

Sure enough, Noiz was standing nonchalantly under the bleachers with his back turned to Aoba. As he got closer he noticed a pair of headphones sittings lazily on Noiz's head. He reached out and poked the blond in back. 

Noiz turned his head slowly, boredom apparent on his face, "you're late."

"Sorry something came up," he didn't meet the gaze of the green eyes. 

He took off his headphones, "At least you showed," 

It amazed Aoba that this boy was so intrigued with him. It filled him with a warm feeling. 

"So why did you lure me all the way out here?" Aoba smiled. 

"I wanted to see you, why else?"

"How did you get my locker number?"

"I asked a secretary,"

"That's....." He smiled to himself. 

"Do you like things like that?" 

"Yeah, a lot actually."

"Ah," he looked to the side like he was making a mental note. 

This was oddly cute. 

"What else do you like?"

"I don't know, you'll find out over time," he winked. 

"Is that so,"

"Yup!"

"Does this make us..... Friends?" 

"What else would we be?"

A small smile flickered across Noiz's face. 

The pain nagging at the back of Aoba's head was unbearable. The reminder sent him back on a downwards spiral to reality. He collapsed. 

Noiz had a firm grip on his trembling shoulders, "are you okay?"

Aoba clung to the blond as if he was life support, he couldn't catch his breath. He was unsure why he found such comfort in a stranger, he figured it was due to the fact Noiz saw him as a person. 

"Aoba, answer,"

The expression "the cat's got your tongue" became highly relevant to the situation. Words burned in Aoba's throat, but when he tried to release them from their prison; all that escaped were broken squeaks. 

"Shhh it's okay," Noiz stroked Aoba's back. 

The warm embrace gave him a sense of safety. He focused on the boy's breathing, the rise and fall of his chest filled him with calmness. He could feel Noiz's pulse as he pressed his nose against the side of the blond's neck. He felt at ease. 

He didn't think that there was anyone out there that could comfort him.


	2. Falling in love could be the worst thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aoba finds comfort in alcohol, a boy and a blade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not have a plot at all I'm writing whatever comes to mind, explains why it sucks hA
> 
> Oh ps there is self harm. Since I get triggered easily myself, thought I'd warn more than once.

Exhausted and a bit stoned, Aoba sat at his desk staring out the window while Mizuki laid out sloppily on his bed. The tan red head snagged some weird pills from his parents medicine cabinet. They made Aoba's vision fuzzy, the air around him felt thick, and made him feel really, really good. 

"Miz..." He tried to say, but his mouth was moving too slow. 

"Mizu..."

"Yeah?"

"Haha... Mi... Miz..u,"

"Haha yeah?"

"Miiiiiiizuuuuu," Aoba found the sound of his voice hilarious through his disoriented ears. 

"Aooobaa!"

"You!"

"Me?"

"Yeah you, Mizu!"

Mizuki slumped up on his elbows and stared lazily at Aoba. They've been friends for the longest time. He's always been there for Aoba. Honestly, he used to have a bit of a crush on Mizuki. But after a nerve wrecking confession of his love, the other boy looked sadly away and said he liked someone else: Aoba's twin brother Sei. This crushed the unstable blue headed boy; he avoided Mizuki for 3 whole months. 

Now Aoba sits there, watching the smiling red head, and is glad Mizuki didn't vanish after his embarrassing confession. Now he's been in a steady relationship with Aoba's brother for 5 months. He's happy for them. 

"Aoba," his gaze slowly made it's way to the door, like the next thing he was going to say was extremely embarrassing, "come... Cuddle me?"

Aoba froze. What? He didn't want old feelings emerging from deep within him again. He couldn't handle that. 

"Pleaaaaaaase,"

But then again...

"Okay,"

Aoba stumbled to his bed, plopping beside Mizuki in a rather ungraceful fashion. Immediately he was wrapped in the boy's arms. Mizuki never insisted on this kind of affection from Aoba. He felt full of himself and snuggled against the other. 

A change in their position left Mizuki on top of Aoba with a shy, sad look on his face. 

"What is it?"

Like he couldn't guess...

"Aoba," he whined. 

"No.. Mizu, no,"

"Aobaaaa,"

His nose grazed along Aoba's neck, his pulse was erratic. 

"Mizu this is.. No," 

The boy bit at Aoba's exposed neck, sucking gently. All wrong evaporated from his mind. All he knew was that he wanted Mizuki and he wanted him now. He'd blame the drugs but what kind of fucking excuse was that? He's a selfish prick that wanted just one moment with Mizuki. 

"Okay," Aoba pulled at the boy's shirt, "I want it off," 

"I want yours off too," he said, with his thumb sliding across Aoba's bottom lip.  
Both down to their boxers, Mizuki began planting sloppy kisses all over Aoba's chest and stomach. Broken moans fell from Aoba's lips. He was already hard and aching for the other's touch. 

He sucked gently at Aoba's nipples, feeling the blue haired boy's erection against him.

Aoba felt his boxers being pulled down and a finger slid over his entrance. His hips jolted upwards. 

"Do you... By chance have lube?" Mizuki stared down at Aoba. 

He blushed and shyly opened the night stand door, pulling out a half used bottle of lubricant. He's only ever used it to please himself. Mizuki raised an eye brow, he knew Aoba lacked promiscuous encounters in the bedroom. 

Mizuki squirted a generous amount of lube onto three fingers, inserting one into Aoba. He response with a low moan, rocking his hips onto the finger to push it deeper inside him. 

"Someone.. likes it," the boy smirked.

After a while of just the single finger working at his insides, he started to get impatient. He wanted more. 

"Put... more in... me!" He whined. 

"Be patient,"

"Fuck that!"

"Do you... want it to hurt, Aoba?" 

"I don't care!"

Mizuki sighed and put 2 fingers inside Aoba. He whined and wiggled as the fingers scissored and stretched inside him. Pleasure sat heavy on Aoba's chest. His breathing grew uneven and choppy. 

After all three fingers found their way into Aoba, he was already a writhing, heaping mess of emotions. 

"Mizu.. I'm ready," he panted. 

"Are you sure?"

"Just stick it in me,"

The idea was rejected; Aoba was getting annoyed beyond belief. He reached for the other's erection, if Mizuki wasn't going to put it in he'd do it himself!

"Woah, Aoba," Mizuki grabbed his arm, "it needs lube, dummy."

Aoba blushed, oh... Right. 

Mizuki squeezed the rest of the bottle onto his cock and place it against Aoba's entrance. 

"Hurry," Aoba whined. 

With one thrust he was half way in, a groan leaving his mouth, "so.. Tight,"

Aoba gripped his friend for dear life, it burned but he wanted more. He wanted all of Mizuki in him. He rocked against the other's hips. 

As Mizuki began to pick up a steady rhythm, and the pain became pleasurable, Aoba moaned commands into his ear: telling him to go faster, begging for more, and to not stop. Aoba was on a cloud of ecstasy. 

"Mizu... Mizu," Aoba whined in the crook of his neck. 

Mizuki picked up his pace as he felt his release building up. Aoba's moans weren't helping. 

"You're loud,"

"It.. Just feels mmm good," 

Mizuki snickered. 

Aoba's sense of reality faded around him, leaving him in a dream like state. He could be as loud as he wanted to. 

Mizuki's cock brushed up against the sweet spot inside of Aoba. His head flew back and he yelled, "Right there! Faster!"

He began plunging roughly into Aoba, hitting the spot hard and on target. 

"Fuck! Don't stop! Uh Mizu!"

He grabbed a hold of Aoba's cock and tried to pump in time with his thrusts. 

"AH! I'm going to----" Aoba was interrupted with a kiss. 

The pumps and thrusts became uneven and desperate, Mizuki just wanted Aoba to cum so he could release his pressure. 

Aoba opened his mouth to allow Mizuki's needy tongue inside. The boy bit anywhere his teeth came in contact with. 

Aoba latched onto to Mizuki's shoulders, moaning into the boy's mouth as he came all over himself and the other. 

With a few more hard thrusts Mizuki came inside of Aoba. The response afterwards Aoba was subconsciously expected. 

The shattered boy fell beside him, panting heavily, letting out muffled cries into the pillow. His friend was hit with the realization of what he's done. Guilt stuck into Aoba like shards of broken glass. He should've resisted. Why didn't he? He shouldn't have given in to Mizuki's clouded judgment. He fucked up. He broke a relationship, a friendship, and a relationship he could've formed with his brother. 

He truly was a foul person. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

Midorijima was very nice at night with the way the lights contrasted with the night sky. Aoba was wandering aimlessly, music blaring in his ears, hoping to find teenagers he could bum some alcohol off of. What a way to spend a friday night. 

He wasn't about to let the event of earlier consume his conscience; he'd get drunk before that happens. This was typical for him, a re-occurring go to thing. It wasn't healthy.

All love is, is handing someone your heart and a hatchet. All one can do is hope their partner doesn't hack it to bits. This thought filled Aoba with an unspeakable terror. What joy would he find in a stable relationship when all he could do was be terrified of abandonment or being betrayed? He had a clue on how easy betrayal is after today. There was nothing good about loving someone, the crush physically hurts, the break up mentally hurts. Everything hurts and nothing, not a thing can stop that kind of pain. It wasn't worth it, was it? Besides, his 'love' would probably run in the other direction once the caught the full show that was inside his head. He didn't think this was worth it for only a few good memories, but for Noiz... He'd like to believe that he'd put his worries aside. His conflicting feelings assaulted his tired brain.  
Now Swaying back and forth on an old swing set in the park, he felt oddly young again. When he was 5, he was climbing up the slide, Koujaku slid down and knocked him off. He broke his arm. Even after constant reassurance, Koujaku still felt guilty and took full blame. After his 7th birthday, he was running around with Mizuki and ran head first into one of the poles. The gash on his forehead needed 10 stitches. This is where Mizuki and him first tried cigarettes for the first time. He swore he was going to cough up a lung, and took an oath to never smoke one of those things ever again. Now here he was, a heavy smoker. 

"Aoba?" He recognized the voice... Who was it?

"Noiz?"

"Bingo,"

Noiz occupied the swing next to him. How long has he been there? Aoba was too caught up in his own mind that he didn't even notice another human presence. 

"What brings you here?" The blond boy asked. 

"Needed to get out to clear my head,"

"A lot on your mind?"

"I guess,"

"You can tell me," Noiz's voice was slightly tainted with hints of concern. 

"I don't know, I just did a bad thing and now.. Yeah,"

"What kind of thing?"

"Just.. A thing,"

"Tell me,"

"No,"

"I'm worried, please tell me,"

Aoba turned his head to catch a glimpse of Noiz in the moonlight. It enhanced his features nicely. He focused on the green eyes staring intently back at him, they looked sincere. 

".... I fucked my brother's boyfriend okay?" Aoba muttered, turning his head away. 

"Oh,"

"I feel pretty shitty about it and would rather not dig into the subject," Anger apparent in Aoba's voice. 

"Okay,"

"And what brings you here?"

"On my way home from a rhyme battle,"

"Rhyme sucks," Aoba laughed. 

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"You heard me," he winked at the disgruntled boy. 

"I so happen to be in charge of a rhyme group called Ruff Rabbit. So there,"

"Impressive," 

As he leaned closer, he could smell the faint stench of alcohol. 

"Do you have anymore?"

"More what?"

"Um,"

Noiz raised an eyebrow, reaching for the bag on his shoulder. He pulled out a bottle of scotch and held it out for Aoba to see. 

He took the bottle, not averting his eyes from Noiz's, chugging back the contents. Aoba noticed that the kid did not have an advanced library of facial expressions. The only suggestion of any emotion on that pretty little face resided in his eyes or by the tiny, rare smirk that popped up. 

He lowered the bottle from his lips, smiling to himself. The all to known warm, fuzzy feeling burned alive inside Aoba's chest.... Part from the alcohol, part from the feelings he had for Noiz. 

\--------

Aoba had an arm lazily strewn across Noiz's shoulders. He was a drunken slob: he was drooling, stumbling with every step, mix matching words and phrases so all that came out was a jumbled mess. 

Earlier, before they left, he suggested to spend the night at Noiz's. After a small protest from the blond about Aoba's state at the moment, he caved when the drunk told him that it would be better for him emotionally to stay. 

Aoba was annoyed by the slow music in the elevator, so he decided to start singing. All that came out was a series of NANANANANA BOWBOWBOWNOW  
ROOOOOWNOWNOWNOWBOOWNOW, but that didn't stop him from feeling like a rock god. 

"Shit, you're cute,"

Aoba looked dreamily up at those green eyes, feeling as if they would eat him alive. He loved it. 

"I uuuh ha," 

The elevator doors opened and startled Aoba. Noiz laughed at this embarrassing moment, leaving Aoba's rosy cheeks even redder. 

"Don't worry, almost there,"

Aoba's clumsy foot snagged on the carpet, "shit, going down,"

"Careful," Noiz caught him with an arm wrapped around his waist. 

"Th-th-thanks,"

"You're welcome," 

A small smile decorated Noiz's face. Aoba was curious about what he was thinking... The younger boy swooped him up bridal style. Aoba gasped as he snuggled into Noiz's chest, his heart daring to jump right out of his chest. 

"This will be faster... And safer," he winked. 

Aoba buried his blushing face into his shaky hands, shaking his head back and forth. This was too much, Aoba wanted to take Noiz's dumb face in his hands and kiss it all over. 

Somehow Noiz managed to open the door while still holding Aoba, he barely noticed the change in room. 

The apartment was slightly messy, cozy nonetheless. It looked costy but Noiz's teenaged lifestyle made it look average. It felt like a home. 

Noiz laid him on the couch. The loss of contact made him feel distant. 

"Come back," he made a clumsy attempt at grabbing Noiz's arm. 

"I'm just grabbing a blanket okay? I'll be right back,"

He was hesitant but he let the younger boy leave. There was a reason he hated getting drunk; the thought was slowly hitting him like a freight train. It always ended up with him crying and feeling like shit. He was a sad drunk. 

"Want to watch a movie?" The uncomfortable silence was broken with the sound of Noiz's voice. Aoba swore it was the best sound he's ever heard. 

"Ye-yeah,"

The blond sat on the couch, making an arm movement that signaled he wanted Aoba near. He crawled across the couch, then sunk into Noiz's side. Noiz carefully draped the blanket over them both. 

"Comfy?"

Aoba nodded. 

He was very comfy, in fact he could stay here for the rest of his life. 

"Noiz," he pulled himself up onto the boy, so he could bury his face in the other's neck. 

"Yeah?"

"Nooooooiz,"

Noiz let out a faint laugh. It was barely audible but the shake in his body was enough. 

"Sh Aoba sh, watch the movie,"

Aoba softly nipped at the blond's neck. 

"You're a horny drunk are you?"

"Mmmmm,"

"I'm not doing anything with you, watch the movie,"

"But Nooooooiz,"

"Sorry Aoba,"

"Fine, I'll... Tr-y ag..ain w-whenn I am so-ober,"

"Go ahead,"

In an odd way Aoba felt triumphant. He planted a sloppy kiss on Noiz's cheek with a small chuckle. The boy placed a finger under Aoba's chin, lifting his head so their eyes met. The butterflies in Aoba's stomach felt like they were on speed. If this kept up he might just puke all over Noiz. 

The green eyes stared at him, they wore a loving expression. Aoba felt like they were reading his past. Could he really be read that easy? Noiz brushed his thumb across Aoba's lips. He shuddered at the touch. 

Aoba leaned in closer, "ple..ase kiss me, ju-st once, pl-ease."

Noiz sighed, closing his eyes. He met the desperate blue haired boy half way, lightly kissing him. 

Aoba's breath hitched in his lungs. He touched Noiz's face, trying to take in what was happening. 

The kiss was cut short, disappointed Aoba opened his mouth to protest, but he stop when he noticed the lustful look in Noiz's eyes. 

The boy softly kissed his cheek before pulling away completely, "watch the movie,"

\----------

"You can sleep here," Noiz tucked Aoba in his bed, "I'll sleep on the couch."

"You don't have to," Aoba wore a sad look, "there's enough room,"

Noiz looked the bed over, nodding to himself. He climbed in beside Aoba. 

"See!"

"Go to sleep Aoba,"

Despair swirled around in his chest. Lovely. He was about ready to explode into a heap of tears. Trying to hold it in was more obvious, he was shaking, making weird sounds. He might as well just let it out.

"Are you okay?"

Aoba rolled over, oh right he wasn't alone, that's why he couldn't. he pressed himself against Noiz's chest. It was the first time he had someone there when the suicidal feelings hit. 

Aoba nodded. 

"Bullshit,"

"I'm fine," the words came out as a whisper but the sadness was still visible. 

"No you are not,"

He squeezed Noiz, burying his face in the boy's chest. Arms wrapped around him and squeezed him back. Noiz rested his chin on Aoba's head. 

"I'm here for you.... Okay?"

Aoba tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but he ended up choking. Tears fell from his tired eyes. 

**************************************

He awoke to 23 messages and 10 missed calls from Koujaku, and only 5 messages and 6 missed calls from Tae. He forgot to tell Tae that he wasn't coming home. 

He held the phone to his ear as anxiety darted through his veins. He was dreading the scolding he was going to get. 

"Aoba where the fuck are you?" Shit it was Koujaku. 

"I'm at a friend's," Aoba rubbed the bridge of his nose, his head was killing him. 

"Tae has been worried sick! I thought you'd have the decency to tell her,"

"Sorry I forgot,"

"Sorry isn't going to mean shit when you OD,"

"Koujaku, I don't do that anymore,"

"Doesn't mean you can't start again,"

Aoba wasn't in the mood for this. Of course Koujaku was going to be pissed, he understood that, but he needed to lay off. 

"Aoba, tell me where are you so I can come get you,"

"No, I can make it home on my own,"

"Fuck that, I want to make your little friend is worth something,"

"He's just fine, he cares,"

"Did you fuck him?"

"NO Koujaku, no I didn't. And if I did it is none of your business,"

There was a pause. 

"Well all the other guys you hooked up with left you when they got bored of you. I don't want you to kill yourself,"

"Tch,"

"Tell me where you are,"

"The apartment beside the old roller skating rink we used to hang out in, buzz 208,"

"Okay,"

He hung up. 

He laid back down on the pillow, every thing was so bright and loud, at least he didn't feel like vomiting. 

"Here," Noiz sat on the edge of the bed and handed Aoba a pill to ease his headache.

"Thanks," he propped himself up on his elbows. 

"Feel like shit don't you?"

Aoba shot him a glare. 

\----------

Koujaku was here, Aoba paced back and forth, waiting for the knock. He was so nervous. He debated jumping off the balcony to escape this situation. 

Knock. Fuck. Knock. Fuck. 

Noiz let the stranger in. 

"So... You're Aoba's friend,"

"Seems that way,"

Koujaku just stared at Aoba, not saying a word. He does this a lot, every time he is disappointed in the blue haired boy. It's not like he meant to hurt everyone who cared about him. 

He could tell that his childhood friend hated Noiz. He guessed it was because of his dress, since Noiz's outfit choice made him look like a no good street dweller. 

Great, potential boyfriend and 'big brother' don't get along. 

They were both glaring at each other,  
Aoba thought they were sending one another insults using telepathy. They were both immature children! 

"Fucking brat," Koujaku muttered. 

"Don't start, old man,"

"I'm 23!" He yelled, "I'm a young adult!"

"Hey now don't break a hip,"

"You little shit!"

At least this was taking the attention off of him. 

"True," Noiz mockingly winked. 

"I'll knock your pretty little face in,"

"Go ahead,"

"Okay enough, both of you!" Aoba intervened. 

They both stared at him. 

"I have a hangover and I don't feel like listening to both of you bicker like fucking children,"

"I'm sorry," Noiz scratched his head. 

"Oh shove it," Koujaku rolled his eyes.

"Where exactly?"

"Up your ass,"

"Would you like to help me with that?" Noiz smirked. 

"You disgusting pervert!" Koujaku was in utter disbelief. 

"Nailed it,"

Aoba groaned in annoyance and fell back onto the couch. 

"Let's go Aoba,"

"He's coming with us," 

"No,"

"Um... Yeah,"

"I said no,"

"But... It is my house and.. AND he needs to meet Granny," Aoba crossed his arms. 

"Great choice of guy to bring home,"

"You don't know him! He's one of the best people I have met in a long time, give him a chance,"

Running over what he had just said, he realized that he didn't even know that much about Noiz. Still he sat there defending the kid to no end. 

"From previous comments, he probably just wants to get in your pants. You are easy,"

Aoba looked away, heaviness resided in him. Could that be true? 

He looked at the blond boy, "say something!"

Noiz looked at him, eyes staying fixed to the cream colored carpet, "if that was true I would have done you when you were all over me yesterday,"

"That doesn't mean shit!" Aoba yelled. 

Aoba was hit with a tidal wave of anger mixed with a slight sadness, "fuck both of you!"

Just one small comment can throw him over the edge, all he can do is wait until he hits the pavement. He thought he was getting better with trust, but that mirror was shattered to the point where the cracks could not be ignored. They spread out like spider webs, waiting to catch prey. 

"Aoba," the older man tried to grab Aoba's arm. 

He pushed Koujaku away, and bolted for the bathroom. He needed a moment to catch himself before the panic consumed him. He was hyperventilating, slowly suffocating. All the feelings rushing through him left him disoriented. His limbs were numb. He was overwhelmed with emotion. 

The banging on the door seemed faint and distant. He opened drawers, looking for something, he didn't know what. He found a straight razor, wondering why this was here he lifted it up. 

He rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie, not caring anymore he slide the blade across with a tremendous amount of pressure across his forearm. It wasn't deep enough to kill him but the gash needed stitches. He watched the blood dirty the clean, perfect, porcelain sink. He's come to the realization that nothing is perfect. He felt relief as he watched the blood pour out. 

He laughed maniacally as he ran the blade over his perfect skin once again, this time with more force. The blood oozed over his arm, filling Aoba with a joyous feeling. The slashes opened and closed with each movement of his arm, it triggered something crazy deep inside Aoba. 

He glided his tongue across his arm, a crimson taste attacking his mouth. His laughter grew demented along with his thoughts. He was starting to feel light headed. Oh come one he can't already be suffering from the loss of blood. Then again he felt really sleepy....

\------

He awoke slanted over the counter with his butchered arm in the sink. the banging on the door has subsided, did they really give up on him that easily? He looked in horror at the results from the previous activity he engaged in. His arm was covered in 5, deep, long cuts that were still slightly bleeding, the once porcelain sink was now painted red, and his mouth held a bitter taste. 

He looked frantically for a first aid kit of some sort, keeping his arm in the sink. He would think Noiz would have one since he got into a large number of fights. 

Bingo, he found what he was looking for. He grabbed bandages, gauze, ointment and some disinfected. He poured some of the liquid onto his arm, biting down on his tongue to keep from crying out. Once the ointment and gauze placed on his arm, he attempting to tightly wrapped the bandages to conceal his wounds. This was challenging. By the time he properly wrapped his arm he guessed that about 5 minutes had passed. He put away the kit.

He looked sluggishly at the sink, not wanting to even bother cleaning that. He let out a regretful sigh and began cleaning the evidence. 

Before leaving the bathroom he gave himself a small pep talk and rolled down his sleeve. 

"Koujaku, Noiz... I feel better now, I'm sorry,"

The two boys were sitting on the couch, both wore worried expressions. 

Koujaku was the first to speak, "I'm sorry Aoba, what I said was out of line, I was just angry. I'm sorry,"

Aoba nodded. 

 

The drive to Aoba's house was awkward. All three of them sat in silence. 

Soon after arriving Koujaku had to leave to run errands, like adults do. He timidly gave Aoba a hug and a glare to Noiz, who proudly returned the same glare. 

Good news was that Tae loved Noiz. She thought he was a nice young gentlemen. At least she liked his future boyfriend. 

"This is the best sandwich ever!" Noiz gawked. 

"Mhmhmh thank you," Tae praised herself, silently of course. 

Noiz's childish ways amused Aoba, maybe that was apart of the reason why he liked this boy. He bit his lip and smiled to himself at the thought of Noiz getting excited over something ridiculous, jumping up and down, yelling at everyone. Now that is something he'd like to see. 

"What are you staring at?" Noiz asked with his mouth full. 

He was tempted to say 'I'm staring at you, silly' but there too many outcomes that left Aoba cowering. 

"Nothing," he blushed. 

Noiz gave him a skeptical look, but then continued eating his sandwich. 

"Granny, where is Ren?" Aoba asked, usually the little dog was glued to his side. 

"Upstairs I believe," 

Aoba entered his room with great caution. He didn't know why he did, he just felt the need to.

"Ren?" He called. 

"Aoba-san?" He heard an ecstatic voice answer. 

"I'm home,"

"I'm glad,"

He smiled. 

He sat on his bed, Ren was immediately on his lap. Aoba pet Ren enough times to make up for the lack. 

"I missed Aoba,"

"I can see that," he laughed, feeling slightly bad. 

"The boy down there... Is he the one you told me about?"

Aoba blushed, "yeah..."

"Ah, be careful Aoba-san,"

**Author's Note:**

> Oh oh oh please request
> 
> Title was inspired by Say Anything


End file.
